She is looking at the people around her and she is wondering what the hell she's doing here...nothing really seems familiar, even though she knows she is in exactly in the same place as everyday, with the same people around, having the same lame conversations, smiling the same fake smiles and telling the same stupid lies.
She promises herself everyday that she would stop doing this soon...this is not the life she imagined she would have at this age. And this is certainly not the sort of person she imagined she would be...most certainly not.
There must be a way to take a few steps back...just a few steps...take a few different turns...she is still young, she can still change things around...
She looks in the mirror...a few lines here and there...but she might still be considered attractive...men still turn their heads when they see her in the street...so why the hell is she so paralyzed? why can't she make the move? why can't she embrace the life she dreams about having? what's stopping her?
Ever since she has been by herself, she started drifting away. She fights desperately to put some meaning in her time, in her days...that go by, one after the other...the same routine, the same boring stuff...she knows she is wasting time...but what could she do to stop this reckless way of living her life?
When she looks back ...what is it that thing that gives a purpose to her whole being? all she wanted was to do something really cool, really fulfilling...she still has time...but what can she do?
She is mediocre at best, in everything she does...she tried her hand at playing the piano, at painting, at writing and at designing fashion outfits...but nothing worked. she is just a common girl, common eyes, common tits and the most common legs ever. why do people say she's special? she looks in the mirror, but she cannot see anything...anything...
what are others seeing in her that she cannot grasp? why can't she just do something outstanding for a change...or at least do herself a favour and go somewhere where everybody can forget about her?
Instead she goes about her petty life...dreaming of big things and special meanings...trying to understand the mystery of the universe but too afraid to actually start searching for the truth...
She knows that she's utterly alone and lonely...
She promises herself everyday that she would stop doing this soon...this is not the life she imagined she would have at this age. And this is certainly not the sort of person she imagined she would be...most certainly not.
There must be a way to take a few steps back...just a few steps...take a few different turns...she is still young, she can still change things around...
She looks in the mirror...a few lines here and there...but she might still be considered attractive...men still turn their heads when they see her in the street...so why the hell is she so paralyzed? why can't she make the move? why can't she embrace the life she dreams about having? what's stopping her?
Ever since she has been by herself, she started drifting away. She fights desperately to put some meaning in her time, in her days...that go by, one after the other...the same routine, the same boring stuff...she knows she is wasting time...but what could she do to stop this reckless way of living her life?
When she looks back ...what is it that thing that gives a purpose to her whole being? all she wanted was to do something really cool, really fulfilling...she still has time...but what can she do?
She is mediocre at best, in everything she does...she tried her hand at playing the piano, at painting, at writing and at designing fashion outfits...but nothing worked. she is just a common girl, common eyes, common tits and the most common legs ever. why do people say she's special? she looks in the mirror, but she cannot see anything...anything...
what are others seeing in her that she cannot grasp? why can't she just do something outstanding for a change...or at least do herself a favour and go somewhere where everybody can forget about her?
Instead she goes about her petty life...dreaming of big things and special meanings...trying to understand the mystery of the universe but too afraid to actually start searching for the truth...
She knows that she's utterly alone and lonely...
It's a bit sad how she feels. But we all go through the same "process" over and over again...and the again. It's what life is...really. "Don't question your right to be here...U ARE, the day u were born..." Lazy Boy.
RăspundețiȘtergereDare...have the courage to go for what you want, for what makes you feel YOU. Sooner /later u will anywayz...It's better to feel sorry for something U Did...than to regret something u wanned 2 do, but didn't.
We all are insecure, but most of us
try 2 hide it...I don't think that's right. Hiding your "fears" only makes them seem more important than they really are.
Understand yourself better than everyone, we all have a special gift...i think is only up 2 each and every1 of us 2 look 4 it. believe in yourself and you'll find that we're ALL human in the end (imperfect and total dreamers).
Listen 2 more music (:D), read more, travel more, don things you've never really thought about doing. Find Joy, let Joy into your life. Depression is a powerful and dangerous f****r.
P.S. My office is open 24/7..
:) she felt like that a lot in the past few months...she didn't want to, but suddenly she woke up from a world she was sleepwalking in...and realized that her values were all wrong. or at least some of them. and she felt totally lost because her guiding light was kind of fading.
RăspundețiȘtergereso, insecurity came next, not knowing exactly what was the formula to make things right, to regain that warm feeling of belonging, of happiness. and wanting so badly to make things right...it's easy to know how you feel, but it is so difficult to perfectly understand how the world looks through the other's eyes.
joy, and happiness are fragile things, they can be gone in a second and turn your world upside down.
trusting in yourself and admitting your imperfections are a start...but let's face it...who wants to be perfect? why would we want to be perfect? we are charming because we are not.
The only problem is that sometimes we feed ourselves stories that we come to believe, we refrain from giving it all, and we ruin beautiful things.
I thing that is why SHE was and is so sad and lonely sometimes....
The fear of losing something good can actually paralyze you...reducing you to nothing but grim thoughts and a painful chest.
"not knowing exactly what was the formula to make things right, to regain that warm feeling of belonging, of happiness. and wanting so badly to make things right...it's easy to know how you feel, but it is so difficult to perfectly understand how the world looks through the other's eyes. "
RăspundețiȘtergereThat is NOT her problem....really. Doesn't she understand that SHE CANNOT control how the world will see her. She might be losing a lot of thought and energy to this so un-important matter, instead of enjoying her imperfection and her close ones as well....
See, she should just pace things and really understand herself and her feelings instead of jumping 2 give the first answers b4 everybody else. It's not that easy 2 truly know how you feel sometimes.. We all fall into that trap many times.
:( she seriously intends to attend some yoga classes, to find some inner piece...sometimes controversial feelings swell up in her mind and soul and she gets really confused and scared.
RăspundețiȘtergereshe will think about what you just said. :)
:)
RăspundețiȘtergereThat's a very good thought. I'm really keen 2 see what will happen next...I wish her much..much luck. I've got a feeling this will be a very interesting story 2 follow.
she will definitely continue...but first she has to take some demons out...the end is yet uncertain :), which funnily enough makes her hopeful and dreamy :)
RăspundețiȘtergere