Getting to know the real me...

During the last coaching session, my coach asked me to think about a few answers to these questions:
1)What do you think you believe in?
2) What do you know you believe in?
3) What do you think your parents think about you?


Now, I thought that it would be easy-peesy to answer all these questions, but turns out, I am at a loss of words. nevertheless, i am trying to o my best, because once and for all I would really like to get some answers from within.

question number 1: I think I believe in God's punishment when I am doing something against his will, when I am not following the rules of the church and when I am being deaf to my mother's warnings. I am scared that not doing the right thing according to the Orthodox church laws will only bring me sorrow, problems and ailments. at the same time, I think I believe that not listening to my parents brings nothing good, that their suffering will turn against me. i think i should believe in "believe without doubt", that i should pray more and try to stick to the rules.

question number 2: I know I believe in the greater good, in life on other planets and reincarnation. although this is considered to be a great sin, I think we come back over and over again as different beings to right the wrongs of the past. i think we are timeless, immortal and that we have this great chance of doing the things right in each life we get. I know my baby was meant to come into this world now and that having him/her is no accident. I know I believe that we are all beings of the light, that right and wrong are only concepts invented by our minds to stop us from growing, evolving into spiritual beings. I believe that not being married will not affect my baby's life in any way and that my sins will not affect his future. i believe i should fear less God's punishment, since God is not mean and does not punish. I believe that our own actions and thoughts make our lives difficult or easy. I believe we can achieve anything by dreaming and believing it can happen. i believe i should be less fearful and judgmental and that what others think is not necessarily the truth. I believe that Jesus Christ was a man of his time, with brothers and sisters, a revolutionary and a wise man.

question number 3: I think my parents love me, but they think I am somehow lost, I have lost my way from the Church's God. At least this is what my mother thinks. They both are somehow proud of what I have become, but they will never show it. They think I give too much importance to the outer world, the physical/material things, and too little to the spiritual ones - meaning the Orthodox church's rules. My mother thinks I should read more books written by priests and saints, because sometimes I talk like a heretic. She thinks I should pray more and think more about the punishment from God and shame of the people. She thinks she brought me up good, but my rebellious nature makes me believe in all of devil's works - reincarnation, etc. My parents think that the way i choose to live my life is not according to what the right thing should be and therefore, we continuously clash when I am not playing according to their rules. Sometimes they are right in assuming I am making a mistake by choosing one thing over the other, but it is not enough for them to give me a piece of advise. especially my mom takes it as a personal affront when I am not doing things the way she wants. at the same time, she only believes I am purposely doing this to hurt her. she lives through me and my decisions are daggers in her heart. i know she only wants what is best for me, but i think this is wrong and she should let go.

this is it, in a nutshell...who is wrong or right is not important, as there is only truth and lie in this world. and above all there is LOVE.